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Step
1. Assemble your team
Choosing the right open-minded people
can make the difference between finding a ghost and just fooling around.
Step
2. Assemble your equipment
Today there are many types of equipment that take the guesswork
out of ghost hunting.
Step
3. Choosing your location
Where is the best place to start?
Step
4. Getting your evidence
How to get conclusive proof that leaves sceptics and scientists
scratching their heads.
Step 1. Assemble your team
You need to pick the right kind of people so here are your
basic requirements;
Team leader
Someone’s got to make the important decisions
and bring it altogether. As there are no real qualifications
for this, not even an NVQ in ghost busting, you can nominate
yourself.
Webmaster
You must have a website. No one is interested in
boring science these days so get yourself a web address with
the word ‘paranormal’ somewhere in it. Remember
you are serious investigators of paranormal activity and
people will need to be able to find you should they discover
they have a ghost infestation.
Medium
This
person will be an essential part of the team if you want
to approach things scientifically. The medium’s
role is to get ‘impressions’ and pick up the
odd name or two. A good medium will also be able to pick
up many different sorts of energy. Not just your basic 'energy'
as in "This room has a lot of energy." but
other more subtle forms e.g. male or female energies, residual
energies, evil energies and, thankfully, loving energies.
You may need to test possible applicants unless they already
have a number of satisfied customers which will be proof
enough. If you do test them see if they can come up with
names of people that mean something to you, like a “David” or “Michael” maybe
even a “John”. If for example they ask you if
the name Martin means anything to you and he is a close friend,
member of your family, perhaps a work colleague or someone
you remember from your childhood then you’ll know you’re
dealing with the genuine article.
Technician
You
will need to have someone who is not only capable of using
various ghost detecting instruments but preferably someone
who doesn’t mind paying for them as well. An
impressive array of gadgets will go a long way to back up
your medium.
Camera
operator
This
might be a video camera or, more likely, a standard digital
camera (choose one with the flash right near to the lens
and these seem better at detecting orbs). If you use a
camcorder it must be capable of night vision otherwise
people will wonder why you bothered with it but more importantly
it will look spookier. However be careful because although
you may see the distinctive outline of a Cavalier or Roundhead,
night vision can distort this so that it just looks like
a shadow made by the curtains.
The
Sceptic
Try
to limit yourself to just the one. Whilst you are all obviously
open-minded you need to balance this with someone who,
despite the obvious evidence of paranormal activity, fumbles
around trying to come up with ‘rational’ explanations.
These can and should be easily dismissed. By way of example,
your medium says she is getting the name Lawrence and you
know Sir Lawrence Posenby-Smallpiece died here in 1832: Your
sceptic may suggest the medium picked this up telepathically
from the current owners or maybe just got lucky. This laughable
clutching at straws is typical of sceptics but it’s
something you just have to put up with. Even so don’t
dismiss the telepathy argument as it has been scientifically
proven by someone.
Uber
believer
The
antithesis of the sceptic. Basically you’re looking
for someone gullible enough to buy into almost anything.
If something accidentally falls or a floorboard creaks you
want this guy to jump out of his skin. If you interview someone
for this role and they suggest any kind of rational explanation
is possible then I’m afraid he will be no good. That
said, they don’t have to be as much a believer as Richard
Felix, that’s going overboard.
Various
hanger’s on
The
rest of the team can be pretty much anyone you want as long
as they are completely open-minded. In others words they
are fully prepared to believe it if they get sufficient
evidence (e.g. orbs, cold spots, etc.) You may be fortunate
enough to find that certain people seem to attract poltergeist
activity, i.e. when they’re around things fly in
the air or light bulbs come out of their sockets and smash
on the floor. To help generate this phenomena try to keep
video cameras in another room as their presence can often
inhibit this type of activity.
A
dog
The
Most Haunted Live team have found that dogs have
a keen sense of psychic ability. A word of caution here,
if you take along a dog make sure it looks the part. German
Shepherds and Rotweilers are to be preferred. Even if your
Chihauhau has demonstrated telepathy in the past you will
not be taken seriously if you bring him along. However
they do shiver a lot so might be able to detect cold spots.
Step
2. Assemble your equipment
A
number of torches
You
will need these because ghosts only appear at night and
then only if the lights are switched off. This is important
because even if you go around places that have perfectly
good lighting you must not use mains electricity. Ghosts
are much more likely to appear in conditions of poor visibility
when your eyes are struggling to make out vague patterns
in the shadows. It is a known fact that ghosts also appear
when investigators are tired and highly suggestible. Under
such conditions people are much more open-minded. The team’s
sceptic will have other explanations but frankly these will
probably be quite ridiculous, unless they’ve read the
right sort of books or studied the works of Dr Rupert Sheldrake
and Lyall Watson.
A
tape recorder (for EVP)
Leave
this running for as long as possible. What you are aiming
for is to pick up “white noise”. White
noise covers the entire sound spectrum and if you listen
carefully enough you can usually pick up some kind of message.
It is likely that this will be different from the messages
picked up by your medium. So whist they get the name “ Lawrence” and
something to do with a “chair”, a typical EVP
message will be something like, “Get snail fly” or
possibly, “Get male spy”. You have to be alert
because very often dead spirits can talk backwards in German
or Serbo-Croat making it difficult to come up with a definitive
explanation. You may also have to slow down the recording
or speed it up in order to decipher the message correctly.
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EMF
detector
It
is believed that spirits operate somewhere between radio
waves and microwaves in the electromagnetic spectrum. Alternatively
it may be that your team is suffering from a form of brain
seizure brought on by EMF which is affecting their temporal
lobes and causing them to have hallucinations. This usually
only happens in conditions of darkness and heightened suggestibility.

Thermometer
If
you suddenly feel cold, don’t be fooled, it has
nothing to with drafts or north facing rooms, etc it is a
dead spirit. If you find a cold spot you’ve definitely
got a ghost but bear in mind that when your medium seems
to be picking something up this won’t necessarily mean
you’ll get a cold spot. Likewise if you get orbs floating
around the room it may not actually turn cold. This is the
strange thing about ghost hunting, whilst cold spots indicate
ghosts, the presence of ghosts doesn’t necessarily
mean you’ll find a cold spot. This has lead some investigators
to believe ghosts are sometimes warm. So if you get a lot
of ghosts appearing together you might even get a warm spot.
Table
for tipping
For
consistent results a light, poorly designed table with
castors and legs that are too near the centre to be of
much practical use is what you need. If dead spirits can’t
get a message directly to the medium they can make their
presence known by making a table turn around – which
is the spirit world’s way of saying nothing in particular.
It is easy to determine if this is genuine poltergeist activity
by keeping your hands touching the table. If you remove your
hands and the table stops moving then that means the spirits
are deliberately trying to prevent you from getting hard
evidence, a sure sign of a playful spirit.
Ouija
Board
Again
if the medium’s spirit guide seems to be having
trouble then this is the kit to use. Make sure everyone can
see the letters clearly otherwise the ghosts can find it
difficult. It’s also a good idea to make sure everyone
agrees on the correct spelling of anyone you are trying to
contact, otherwise they won’t know if the spirit is
genuine or not. To make sure the spirits turn up take a leaf
out of Yvette Fielding’s book and ask the following
questions in a loud voice (it works the same way as when
you shout at foreigners to help them understand English);
“If
there are any astral beings here please make yourself
known. Move something, make a noise, touch someone… anything.
We mean you no harm and we want to treat you with respect.”
Then
if you actually get a response causing you to scream or
panic make sure you get this on the video camera as this
will provide further proof of paranormal activity. Don’t
forget to repeat the above words indefinitely and at every
location you ever visit.
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Step
3. Choosing your location
Early
on you’ll probably be glad to get anywhere so
just look on it as practice. Remember to look serious, you
will always find phenomena of some kind if you really want
to. However it might be worth finding the odd house that
doesn’t have a ghost. This can prove difficult but
if you do find one it will show you aren’t fooled
by any stupid little squeak and conversely add credibility
to the other locations.
Later,
as your reputation for constantly finding ghosts grows,
you’ll be able to move onto investigating public
houses. This is a very clever move as all pub landlords require
a ghost of some kind and you can call in the local press
to cover the story. Remember if you do your own press release
it is the law that all such stories start with the headline, “Ghostly
goings on at….” And remember do not allow sceptics
to speak to the press. For a start they won’t interested
and secondly neither will their readers.
Large
disused buildings are an obvious choice but as some of the
more disreputable ghost hunting teams have been known to
make up an entirely false histories, you need to do your
research carefully. For example if you mistakenly thought
you were in an asylum and your medium picked up information
about mental patients who never existed the world would immediately
realise they were nothing but a cheap fake deliberately milking
the gullibility of the public. You might end up tainted by
associating with such scum.
The
final step is to be allowed into a stately home. Now
you’ve hit the big time, but once again caution
is required. Remember to do your research carefully as
some sceptics just think the whole thing is one big joke
and may set a trap. Be very suspicious of names such as
Kat Waterside who may well have been the secret mistress
of the Third Earl of Malmesbury but nevertheless is also
an anagram of “Derek is a twat”.
Step
4. Getting your evidence
It’s
important to understand that you won’t always get
absolute proof but if you’re lucky you will get things
that you won’t
be able to explain which should be good enough for most reasonably open-minded
people. This is one reason why you limit yourself to a single sceptic.
If there are more they might get over confident. With only one you can
make them feel they’re just being picky.
Use the table
With
any luck the table will move and dramatically fall over. If this isn’t
proof that discarnate beings are in the building I don’t know what is.
There is no known explanation for this with the possible exceptions of a) someone
is pushing it deliberately (ridiculous) or b) it’s the ideomotor response
(as if). If someone appears to be pushing the table deliberately it is probably
the spirits making them do it. If you’re not sure you must check with
your medium as they can ask their spirit guides for an impartial assessment.
When we eliminate sceptical arguments and other rational explanations what
is left must be paranormal.
Ouija Board
Get
messages using the ouija board. If this doesn’t happen then the
spirits are trying to wind you up which is pretty convincing proof in itself.
Camera
If
you make sure you use the right digital camera you should see plenty of orbs
floating around. Of course 82% of these will be just dust or flying insects
but that leaves 18% that are genuine. Remember ghosts are not physical beings
so getting a camera to record one is quite remarkable in itself. What is an
orb? Well paranormal investigators believe they are the initial manifestation
of a ghost, a sort of spirit embryo, although frogspawn might be more accurate.
Alas none seem to grow beyond the fuzzy white dot stage, which if you think
about it logically means they must turn invisible when they reach a certain
size. It is quite obvious, except perhaps to the more pedantic sceptics that
these orbs are trying hard to communicate as they are always near the camera
lens and not hiding away shyly behind people or furniture.
Video camera
This
is obviously good for keeping a precise record of the investigation. Very
occasionally you’ll
record things flying around the room, or at least flying past the camera
lens which is the same thing.
The dog
This
will bark at ghosts. The more fierce and aggressive they are the more psychically
in tune they become.
Tape recorder
I’ve
already given tips on how to use this but briefly, leave it running (i.e.
recording) in an unoccupied room. You will probably get messages that seem
meaningless at first but after listening to them for a week or so you should
be able to interpret what’s actually being said. Tell people what
you think it is before they listen as this will help confirm that you are correct.
If you leave it up to them to decipher the words they may get it wrong. Remember
this phenomenon has been proven by scientists and sceptics can offer no credible
alternative explanation.
Thermometer
A
difference of 2 degrees Celsius from the surrounding ambient temperature
means a ghost is present. Make a note of the exact point and tell everyone
else so that they can confirm it as well.
EMF detector
A
very important piece of equipment as it shows you know what you’re
doing. If someone claims they saw a ghost, quickly note if the EMF reading
has shot up. If it has you need to make sure the person in question is not
having a seizure in their temporal lobes. Feel the side of their heads to see
it they are hotter than normal. Once you ascertained that their brains are
acting normally then you have proof positive of paranormal activity. It might
be worth contacting Nature with your findings but if you want proper peer review
then you should contact the Society for Psychical
Research. They have dead
members who can easily verify your claims.
The medium
Usually
they will only pick up people who have been dead a long time and nobody remembers.
Don’t push them too hard on names as many spirits find details
like their own names difficult to remember. On a more positive note they will
often give an excellent description of say an old person but most importantly
they can tell you with a great deal of precision what the ghost is feeling
and whether they are happy or not. This is just the kind of information you
need if you’re going to persuade the the scientific community.
One other thing is to make sure you have someone trained in first aid in case
the medium becomes possessed. Whilst this can happen occasionally it is usually
confined to mediums with very little intelligence.
Happy hunting.
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